“Elevate: Speak Up - Elevating Relationships Through Honest and Grace-Filled Words”
SERMON Title: Elevate: Speak Up - Elevating Relationships Through Honest and Grace-Filled Words
SCRIPTURE: Psalm 62:8 / Ephesians 4:29 ESV
Introduction
Think about the most meaningful relationships in your life — friendships, family, marriage, or community. Words play a powerful role in shaping them. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Every word carries weight — it can bring life or death, hope or despair, healing or harm. Words reveal the state of our hearts and shape those around us.
The story of Anna and Ian reminds us that words don’t just express how we feel; they shape hearts and relationships. They can tear down or build up, escalate conflict or bring reconciliation. But before we can speak words that build up others, we must start with the source of life — our relationship with God. How we speak to Him — honestly and vulnerably — sets the tone for how we speak to others.
Today we’ll explore three ways our words can reflect spiritual elevation:
Speak Honestly to God – pouring out our hearts in trust and vulnerability.
Speak Gracefully to Others – using words that encourage and build up.
Speak Redemptively through the Gospel – letting the gospel shape our words to reconcile and reflect Christ’s love.
1. Speak Honestly to God
The first step in elevating our words is learning to speak honestly to God. Everything else — how we speak to others and respond in relationships — flows out of this foundation. Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts before Him; God is our refuge.”
God invites us to be real with Him — not the filtered version of ourselves. Too often, we come to Him sounding spiritual, hiding frustration or fear. We say, “God, thank You,” while resentment lingers beneath. But when our prayers aren’t honest, our relationship with Him becomes shallow. True spiritual elevation begins when we pour out our hearts fully before Him.
David modeled this beautifully:
“How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1)
“My heart is troubled.” (Psalm 61:2)
“My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1)
David’s honesty didn’t push God away — it drew him closer. God is our refuge not only from external danger but as a safe place where we can bring every emotion — anger, fear, and doubt — knowing we are fully seen, known, and loved.
Maybe this week you’ve been weary, pretending everything is fine. God says, “Pour out your heart to Me.” Maybe you’re angry or hurt — come to Him first before you lash out. Even in small frustrations — at home, in traffic, or at Costco on a Saturday — bring those emotions to Him instead of letting them control you.
When we speak honestly to God, He meets us there. He reshapes our desires, softens hardened hearts, and replaces confusion with peace. And from that peace, our words toward others begin to change. We stop speaking from irritation or fear and start speaking with grace.
Spiritual elevation begins here — when we are real with God, He transforms us into people whose words bring life.
2. Speak Graciously to Others
Once our hearts are shaped by honest conversation with God, the next step is to speak graciously to others. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Paul isn’t merely giving a rule about speech — he’s showing a way of life. Every time we open our mouths, we can give life or take it away. Unwholesome words — gossip, sarcasm, or complaints — corrode relationships. Gracious speech, however, builds up and brings healing.
But graciousness begins in the heart. When we’ve poured out our emotions before God, we gain space for patience and love. The Holy Spirit helps us:
Respond with gentleness instead of anger.
Speak with courage instead of insecurity.
Build others up instead of tearing them down.
A simple way to practice gracious speech is by using The Four Tests of Gracious Speech:
Is it True? – “Having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor.” (Ephesians 4:25) Our words must be rooted in truth, not exaggeration or gossip.
Is it Necessary? – “When words are many, transgression is not lacking.” (Proverbs 10:19) Even true words aren’t always needed. Sometimes grace is silence.
Is it Kind? – “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) Truth must be spoken with love.
Is it the Right Time? – “How good is a word spoken at the right time!” (Proverbs 15:23) The right word at the wrong time can harm, but Spirit-led timing brings healing.
When we run our speech through these tests, we begin to speak with the heart of Jesus — words that heal, restore, and bring peace. This kind of speech doesn’t come from trying harder; it flows from hearts shaped by God’s grace.
3. Speak Redemptively through the Gospel
Ultimately, our words should reflect the redeeming power of Jesus Christ. Jesus said in Luke 6:45, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” When our hearts are full of grace and truth, our words begin to sound like His — words that restore and bring life.
To the outcast, Jesus said, “Your sins are forgiven.” To the weary, “Come to Me, and I will give you rest.” His words never left people unchanged — they lifted, healed, and transformed. When we experience His mercy and forgiveness, we can’t help but speak to others the same way.
Instead of using words to win arguments, we use them to win hearts.
Instead of defending ourselves, we seek to restore others.
Instead of tearing down, we build bridges of grace.
Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Grace-filled words preserve relationships and make truth palatable. Speaking redemptively isn’t about perfection but transformation — allowing the gospel to shape our tone, patience, and humility.
When we’ve heard Jesus speak love and grace to us, we begin to echo His voice to others. Our words become His message of hope.
Conclusion
When we speak honestly to God, graciously to others, and redemptively through the gospel, our words become instruments of God’s presence. They build up, restore, and reflect His love. The goal isn’t better communication but deeper communion — being people whose words carry the fragrance of Christ wherever we go.
Reflection and Response
As we close, take a moment to ask:
Have I poured out my heart honestly before God?
Have my words built people up or torn them down?
Is there someone I need to speak to with grace and truth?
Let God elevate your speech today. Pour out your honest, regretful, and hopeful words to Him — and may He speak His word of grace over you.