Raising Children for God's Purposes
John Son
Genesis 25:19–28
Introduction
I don't know if you've ever noticed this aboutlife, but themoment you think you've finally arrived is the moment a new challenge begins.
- You finally graduate... but now you have to find a job.
- You finally get married... but now you have to learnhow to live with another sinner.
- You finally buy a home... but now you discover how much work and cost it requires to maintain it.
- You finally have children... and then you realize having children was only the beginning.
We often imagine that God's blessings will usher us into a season where life finally settles down.
But that's rarely how God works. And that's certainly not how He worked in the lives of the patriarchs.
Last week, we ended on what felt like a fairy-tale ending. After watching God's remarkable providence unfold throughout Genesis 24, Isaac receives Rebekah—a woman of godly character whom God Himself had graciously provided.
And if this were a movie, that's where the you would see it say - "And they lived happily ever after."
But the truth of the matter is the book of Genesis isn’t about fairy tales. It tells the truth. And the truth is that after one act of God's faithfulness often comes another opportunity to trust Him.
When we pick up in our text today, It's easy to read right past verse 21 - "And Isaac prayed to the LORD for his wife, because she was barren, and the LORD granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived."
At first glance, it almost sounds instantaneous - Isaac prayed, God answered, and Rebekah conceived.
But if you compare verse 20 with verse 26, you'll notice that Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah, and sixty years old when Jacob and Esau were born.
V.20 - and Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah…
V.26b - … Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them.
So behind this one verse, v.21, are twenty years of waiting.Twenty years of praying. Twenty years of wondering whether He would keep His covenant promise.
It's amazing how Scripture sometimes gives just one verse towhat must have felt like an eternity to the people actually living it.
And yet, if you’ve noticed, this is a familiar pattern in Genesis.
- Abraham waited twenty-five years for the promised son. And when Isaac finally arrived, God tested Abraham by asking him to surrender the very son He had promised.
- And when Isaac finally found his marriage partner atthe age of 40, Isaac and Rebekah had to endure twenty years of infertility.
- And God finally answers their prayers and Rebekah conceives and Twin boys are born.
Now, how awesome would it be if life would finally get easier from here on?
But that’s not quite the case. Because yet another challengeis waiting on the other side of God's blessing - the challenge of raising them.
And that’s how it is in our lives as well! We often assume that once we surrender our lives to God, our lives would just be marked by smooth sailing and abundant blessings. But that's rarely how the Christian life unfolds. The Christian life rarely moves from one mountaintop to another. More often, it moves from one experience of God's faithfulness into another invitation to trust Him.
Every generation faces different circumstances, different seasons, and different struggles.
But beneath them all is the same call - Will you trust the Lord?
And that's especially true in parenting.
Some of you are parents or soon to be parents. Others are grandparents. Some of you are children yourselves—whether young or grown— and perhaps you hope to become parents one day. or maybe you know that parenthood is not the path the Lord has for you.
But regardless of wherever you find yourself this morning, this passage has something to say to you. Because Genesis 25 is not merely about Isaac and Rebekah having children. It is one of Scripture’s earliest and most honest portraits of family life.
Through this family, God not only shows us what faithful parenting looks like, but also how easily the human heart can drift from His purposes and begin to center life around our own preferences instead of His will.
And even if you are not a parent, this still matters deeply.Because all of us have been shaped by parents, all of us carry the imprint of family life in some way, and many of us will one day influence the next generation—whether directly as parents or indirectly through the way we live.
So Genesis 25 speaks not only into the practice of parenting, but into the spiritual weight of the home that God uses to shape and form us.
And so, as we look at this story of Isaac and Rebekah, I want to focus on two truths about family life—especially as it relates to parenting.
Parenting begins by recognizing that our children belong to God.
Parenting goes wrong when we love our preferences more than God's purposes.
And finally we’ll see how this story once again points us toChrist.
So let’s begin with truth number 1:
Parenting Begins by Recognizing That Our Children Belong to God
So we see in v.21 that Rebekah finally conceives after twenty years of waiting. But what’s striking is that even before Jacob and Esau are even born—even before Isaac and Rebekah have held them, named them, or begun to raise them—God has already declared His purpose over their lives.
Verse 22 says – 22 The children struggled together within her, and she said, “If it is thus, why is this happening to me?”[b] So she went to inquire of the Lord.
The Hebrew word behind “struggled” is a strong, almost violent word and it’s used to describe warriors colliding in battle. So when it says — the children struggled together within her — this is not ordinary movement in the womb. So Rebekah senses that something is definitely not right, and she cries out, “If it is thus, why is this happening to me?” And so what does she do? She goes to inquire of the Lord.
Now notice how God doesn’t explain everything but He gives her enough to trust Him. V23 - 23 And the Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.”
This is a staggering declaration. Because before either of the boy takes a single breath—before they have done anything good or evil—God has already set His purpose over their lives.
Centuries later, the apostle Paul talks about this very moment to make a point about God’s sovereign grace.
Romans 9:10-11 —10 And not only so, but also when Rebekah had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, 11 though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God's purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls— .
In other words, God’s covenant purpose for Jacob and Esau was never determined by their personality, it was never determined by their performance, or never determined by their parents’ preferences. It was determined before either boy had the ability to earn it—or lose it.
But long before their personalities developed or their choices unfolded, God was already at work— in His sovereign and purposeful ways that we cannot fully fathom, He was writing a story larger than either of them can see.
Now, this teaches us something foundational for every parentin this room - Our children ultimately belong to God before they ever belong to us.
We are not owners of our children but we are stewards.
Our task is not to shape our children into the people we always imagined they would become. Our task is to help them become the people Godhas created them to be.
You know, one of the deepest temptations in parenting is to write our own story through our children. We begin attaching our hopes—whether its education, career, personality, achievements, even spirituality—to our own expectations for our children. Instead of asking: “Lord, who have You created this child to become?” we set a standard of what a successful life looks like and we fixate ourselves with the question “How can I raise this child so that they can have a good life?”
Now, to be a “steward” doesn’t mean parenting becomes passive. Isaac and Rebekah still had a real responsibility of feeding, teaching, disciplining, and forming their children.
So stewardship is not the absence of effort. But it’s effortwith a different posture —that we channel our effort to raise our children — not with clenched fists that wants to control —but with open hands.
It’s a parenting that says: “Lord, this child was Yours before they were mine, and they will be Yours long after they leave my care.”
And if that is true of children, then it is also true of every relationship we steward—our spouses, our friendships, our ministry, even our own lives.
None of it ultimately belongs to us. All of it belongs to Him.
And the sooner we release our grip, the sooner we are free to love what God has entrusted to us the way He intended.
So that the first truth we need to understand – that Parenting begins by recognizing that our children ultimately belong to God.
[The second truth about parenting is that:]
2. Parenting Goes Wrong When We Love Our Preferences More Than God's Purposes
Notice first how the boys are described in verse 27 - 27 When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents.
Esau is the outdoorsman—rugged, adventurous, always coming home smelling like the wilderness. By contrast, Jacob is described as homebody, someone who like to stay home in calm and quiet manner. So these boys were different. Very different.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. God delights in making children different from one another—different gifts, different temperaments, different callings.
And there is nothing in our text that suggest any kind of criticism towards the personalities of these boys. Esau isn't condemned for enjoying the outdoors. Jacob isn't praised for staying home.
But when we come to verse 28, it reveals something very telling about the distortion of love that took place within this home: “Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”
Notice how Isaac and Rebekah attach their affection to the child who fulfills something in themselves.
- Isaac loves Esau—and look at the reason given—“because he ate of his game.” His affection is tied to his preference and appetite.
- Rebekah loves Jacob, and though the text doesn't tell us why, it's not difficult to imagine –
o Jacob's quieter disposition may have resonated with her more deeply.
o Or perhaps she also knew the Lord's promise that "the older shall serve the younger" and found herself naturally drawn toward the son through whom she believed God's covenant would continue.
So instead of receiving each son as God's gift, Isaac and Rebekah began measuring their children through the lens of personal preference. Their love became selective. And selective love always divides what God intended to unite.
We won't go through the details this morning, but you don't have to read much further in this chapter to see the fruit of that division. The favoritism introduced in chapter 25 becomes the soil from which deception, manipulation, resentment, and fractured relationships will grow.
Long before Jacob steals the blessing...Long before Esau vows revenge... Long before husband and wife begin deceiving one another...the fracture had already begun. It began when Isaac and Rebekah showed favoritism and stopped being united in how they loved their children.
And that's worth pausing over. Because this passage isn't merely inviting us to critique Isaac and Rebekah. It's inviting us to examine our own hearts.
Because favoritism is rarely something parents choose consciously. No parents wake up one morning and decide, "I'm going to love one child more than another."
It happens much more subtly than that. Without even realizing it, our hearts naturally gravitate toward the child who feels familiar to us.
- The child who is easier.
- The child who reflects our personality.
- Thechild who lives up to our expectations.
- The child who makes us feel like we're doing a good job as parents.
Without even realizing it, we begin loving not only the child God has entrusted to us, but what that child gives to us.
And that's where parenting begins to drift. Instead of asking, "How can I help this child become who God created them to be?" we begin asking "How can this child become the person I've always wanted them to be?"
Do you see the difference?
· One posture begins with God's purposes. But the other begins with our preferences.
· One receives children as gifts to steward. But theother slowly turns children into projects to manage.
· One parents with open hands. But the other parentswith hidden expectations.
But I think the issue goes even deeper. At its heart, this is a worship problem. Because worshipis ultimately about what we treasure most, what gives us our identity, and where we look for our deepest sense of worth.
And sometimes, without realizing it, we begin looking to ourchildren to give us what only God can give. We want them:
- to validate us.
- to make us feel successful.
- to fulfill the dreams we never accomplished.
- to become the legacy we leave behind.
- to prove that we've been good parents.
In other words, our children stop being gifts to steward andquietly become idols to serve. We don't bow down before them. But we build our identity, our hopes, and our happiness around them. And that’s worship!
And whenever that happens, favoritism isn't far behind. Because we'll naturally gravitate toward the child who best delivers the thing our heart is really worshiping.
- If success has become an idol, we'll favor the successful child.
- If approval has become an idol, we'll gravitate toward the child who makes us feel appreciated.
- If comfort has become an idol, we'll prefer the child who demands the least from us.
- If our own image has become an idol, we'll be drawn toward the child who is most like us.
The favoritism we see in Isaac and Rebekah is simply the outward expression of loves that have become disordered.
But our children can never be our saviors! The moment we askthem to complete us, validate us, or justify us, we place upon them a burden they were never created to carry.
- They end up spending their lives trying to earn affection they feel they've never received.
- They live in fear of losing the affection that has always come so easily.
- They become exhausted trying to fulfill expectationsthey never chose for themselves.
And No child flourishes under love that must be earned.
Andso, Christian parenting, then, is not about loving identical children identically. Different children need different kinds of encouragement, different kinds of correction, different expressions of affection.
And what every child needs to know without question is that:
"Nothing you accomplish will make me love you more. Nothing you fail to accomplish will make me love you less. Because my love for you is not rooted in your performance, but in the fact that you are a precious gift from God, created in His image and entrusted to my care."
Pointing to the Gospel
My brothers and sisters, the difficult truth of this passageis that every parent in this room, including myself, can see a little bit of Isaac and Rebekah in ourselves.
- We all carry preferences. We all have expectations. We all find ourselves loving conditionally more often than we'd like to admit.
But our text isn’t meant to leave us there. Instead, it points us beyond Isaac and Rebekah to another Father.
Remember what we saw in verse 23: before Jacob and Esau had done anything—good or bad—God had already set His purpose over their lives. That is not only a parenting principle. It is a window into the very heart of the gospel.
As Paul tells us in Romans 9, this very story reveals that God’s saving purpose rests not on our merit, effort, or achievement – “but because of him who calls.” —which means the love of God has never been reactive. It was never based on who was easier to love, more impressive to love, or more deserving of love. It was set before we were ever born—anchored in His grace alone.
And that grace is not abstract—it is revealed and secured inJesus Christ.
For the Father did not merely declare His electing love; He acted upon it by sending His Son.
Unlike Isaac and Rebekah, who allowed preference to shape their love, the Father’s love is perfect and undivided, and His purposes are always righteous.
And yet, He did not withhold His Son, but gave Him up for us—so that rebellious, broken, undeserving sinners like you and me might be adopted into His family as his sons and daughters! Ephesians 1:5-6 - 5 he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.
At the cross, Jesus received the rejection and the punishment we deserved, so that we might receive the love we could never earn.
And when that gospel grips our hearts, something begins to change.
We no longer need our children to fulfill our dreams, validate our identity, or compensate for our disappointments. Because in Christ, we are already fully loved by the Father.
And parents who are secure in that love are finally free to love their children—not for what they might become, not for what they might give, not because they reflect us—but simply because they are precious gifts entrusted to us by the God who first loved us.
Conclusion
So as we come to the end of this story, the invitation is simple.
If God's purposes for our children were secured before they were even born, then the call for us is not to write their story, but to trust the One who already holds the pen.
And that trust begins with repentance—because repentance is God’s gracious invitation to bring our disordered loves into the light of His mercy.
Some of us are like Isaac, needing to examine where our affection has become conditional. Some of us are like Rebekah, needing to bring our favoritism honestly before the Lord instead of quietly justifying it.
But repentance is not shame’s final word—it is God’s open door back into right worship. It is the Father calling us not to hide from Him, but to return to Him with open hands and honest hearts.
And for all of us, the same truth stands: our children—and every good gift entrusted to us—belong to God before they belong to us.
And ultimately, this truth leads us to Jesus. Because at thecross, we see that God did not merely bless us with children, spouses, and family members as gifts to steward— He gave us His own Son. And in Christ, the Father has already secured for you an inheritance that no one can take, that no circumstance can shake, and that no failure can forfeit.
So the question this morning is not, “Am I a perfect parent?” None of us are. The question is: “Will I trust the Father, who has already proven His love for me in Christ, enough to release my grip on what was always His?”
My brothers and sisters, may we raise our children—and hold everything else entrusted to us—with open hands. Not gripping tightly out of fear, but releasing freely out of worship. Because the God who set His purpose over Jacob and Esau before they were born is the same God who has set His grace over you in Christ, and He will not fail to finish what He has begun.
Reflection and Response
Let's take a moment to reflect and respond. As we think about our own lives in light of the message today:
1. Where are you tempted to write your own story through someone entrusted to your care?
Think about a child, a mentee, or someone you have influenceover. What hopes or expectations have you attached to them that may belong more to you than to God's purpose for their life? What would it look like this week to release that grip and ask instead, “Lord, who have You created this person to become?”
2. Where might favoritism or conditional love be present in your relationships?
Be honest before the Lord: is there someone you love more easily because of what they give you—their success, their affirmation, their similarity to you? And is there someone you find harder to love because they don't? What would it look like to pursue the same unconditional love toward both?
3. Where do you need to bring a struggle you don't understand to God, rather than trying to resolve it on your own?
Rebekah brought her confusion and distress straight to the Lord rather than carrying it alone or guessing at answers. Is there a struggle in your life right now—in a relationship, in parenting, in an unresolved circumstance—that you've been managing on your own instead of inquiring of the Lord? What would it look like to bring it to Him honestly this week?
