HEART DETOX #6: DEALING WITH ANGER

Rev. Charles Lee

1. INTRODUCTION

a. “In reality, our anger is at the very heart of who we are. Tell me what you are angry about, and I will tell you what is important to you.”

b. Resources:

c. “Anyone can become angry—that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, at the right time, for the right purpose, in the right way—that is not within everyone’s power and that is not easy.” (Aristotle)

2. DISTINGUISH BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD ANGER

a. Good anger = “definitive anger” + expressed constructively

And he said to the man with the withered hand, “Come here.” And he said to them, “Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save life or to kill?” But they were silent. And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. (Mark 3:3-5)

b. Bad anger = “distorted anger” + expressed destructively

i. Explosion

An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins. (Proverbs 29:22)

ii. Implosion

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and screaming and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. (Ephesians 4:31)

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

3. DEAL WITH ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY

i. Don’t delay

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26)

ii. Don’t rush

Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20)

A quick-tempered person does foolish things. (Proverbs 14:17)

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. (Proverbs 29:11)

iii. Confront = “Speak the truth in love”

having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. (Ephesians 4:25)

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (Ephesians 4:30)

iv. Overlook = “Forebear and Forgive”

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. (Ephesians 4:32)

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11)

v. We are enabled to deal with anger constructively—by the power of the gospel.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Heart Detox #6: Dealing With Anger