Married in Christ: From Contention to Submission
Proverbs 21.9, 19
One of the most stressful things in life is when you are in a bitter conflict with your spouse. Thus, there are multiple Proverbs that say that "It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman" (Proverbs 21.9, 19; see also Proverbs 19.13 and 25.24).
As mentioned in previous sermons, the Proverbs are not just maxims that we apply in life. Just like the rest of Scripture, the Proverbs provide a window into seeing Jesus and his gospel. So the sermon will focus more on how these Proverbs are an opportunity for us to understand better how God views those who are in Christ.
In a male-dominated culture, being a contentious wife might have been one of the worst things in life. Yet God lovingly endured his people, Israel, whom he also regarded as his bride. The name "Israel" literally means one who contends with God (Genesis 32.28), a name that Israel fulfills with her constant stubbornness. Despite Israel's rebellion, God loved Israel with unwavering commitment.
Israel, of course, is a spiritual mirror to us. We are also stubborn, rebellious, and contentious toward God, despite the fact that he is holy, wise, loving, and gentle. Though God is committed to loving us and making us more like Christ, we often question his character or doubt his presence. This is where the gospel of Jesus Christ is crucial when reflecting upon these Proverbs. It is because of what Christ has done for us that we are no longer the contentious wife; instead, the gospel promises that we will respond to God's character and involvement with submission, obedience, faith, and love. If God has lovingly endured Israel, the most contentious wife, then he will certainly keep his promise of loving us as well!
It is when we are overwhelmed by God's enduring love for us that we can also love others. When we know that God extends his grace to us despite us being contentious and argumentative, we will be able to extend that kind of grace to others. When we come to the realization that we are often quarrelsome and difficult before God, we are likelier to recognize our own shortcomings to those around us.
Questions:
1. Read the passage together and review your sermon notes. Share with one another what the Spirit might have been placing on your heart through the sermon.
2. Share about an experience where you had to deal with someone who was being contentious. What was this like?
3. Why do you think Scripture contains so many details about Israel (and other followers of God) struggling with contention, disobedience, stubbornness, etc. before God? What does this say about God and how he relates with us?
4. One of the promises of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that he turns those who are contentious toward God (i.e., sinners like us) and makes them lovingly submissive.
In what ways have you been contentious toward God? In what ways have you experienced the promise of the gospel, where the Spirit is making you more submissive and loving toward God?
